I was browsing old archives on the site that I used to play on (10 years ago) And I happened upon this list that we put together in an OOC chat... Still makes me chuckle so thought id share;
*Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*. .
1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.
3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.
4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.
5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.
6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.
8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.
10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.
11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some chocolate.
12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.
13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.
15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.
16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.
18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of one in three sentences that anyone says to him.
20. A small, undercrewed Starfleet ship is flung halfway across the galaxy. Hopelessly outnumbered, they don't make it past the first week.
21. The Borg send more than one cube to attack Earth.
22. A Starfleet runabout makes a dangerous survey into the Gamma Quadrant, but makes it back to DS9 without encountering a single Dominion ship.
23. Ensign Kim gets the girl.
25. Captain Picard goes to a replicator and orders a Coke.
26. Tuvok finds one of Tom Paris' jokes hilarious
27. Neelix creates a new dish that the entire crew finds fabulous
Please feel free to add to the list :-)
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Subject: Things that never happened on Star Trek 
