In the Bleak Mid-Winter (Open)

Safefta Pardek wrote:

"We have not," the half-Vulcan deadpanned. "I am Lieutenant Pardek."

Pardek, was it? Salek wondered if she was kin to the notorious Senator Pardek, he who had sold out Vulcan's interests to Romulan agitators. Obviously, he was trained not to feel anger...but things like that made him understand the concept.

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Nodding to her officers, she turned her attention back to the smug Vulcan. "Lieutenant Pardek is my chief of security, and this is Julia Rellek, my first officer. Julia, I don't think you've met Captain Salek?"

Salek turned from Safefta and to Commander Rellek, quirking his eyebrow as his near-eidetic memory took a few microseconds to summon up his memory of joint exercises with the Phoenix. "In fact, I have, as you may recall." He left it there, nodding simply. "The April just made berth, and I wished to give my greetings. It appears that I picked an...interesting time to do so."

Rachel Deacon wrote:

Quickly extracting herself from Rama's presence, Rachel made her way over to her second in command, a few tension lines evident in her expression.

"If you happen to have a bottle of scotch secreted about your person, I would gladly take a measure from you," she muttered in a low voice.

Grunting noncommittally, Corman cracked a small smirk as Rachel approached. "Admiral. I was afraid that you'd managed to leave me with the bag on this little shindig." He chuckled lightly at her desire for scotch, remembering well the time that they'd been under the influence of the Beta spores, commiserating on their relative places in the universe and their lack of contentment therein.

"In fact, I do. Not even secreted. I guess that's one of the fringe benefits of things like this." He held his glass up to the waitstaff member behind the table, indicating that he wanted another. "Got one on the way." Stark glanced up at the ceiling, frowning. "Is anyone from Ops nearby? I swear to God, it feels like it's getting colder in here."

Rachel Deacon wrote:

Rachel bared her teeth in what could be an approximation of a smile or possibly a grimace of pain.  Dealing with the Ferengi was a necessary evil that she would rather not have to do, but he seemed to have some kind of fascination with her that was starting to grate on her nerves.

Scanning the people in the room, she spotted someone who could possibly save her from this uncomfortable situation.  Rama was starting to get far too close to her.

"It would seem to be a matter of personal tastes, Mr Rama.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to have a word with Admiral Stark."

Quickly extracting herself from Rama's presence, Rachel made her way over to her second in command, a few tension lines evident in her expression.

"If you happen to have a bottle of scotch secreted about your person, I would gladly take a measure from you," she muttered in a low voice.

"Sure thing Admiral Rachel." Rama made his was across the room and located the appropriate bottle on the table he had setup to serve as a temporary bar. He poured a shot into a small clear glass. He then took a moment and looked back towards the Admiral. She seemed tense to him, so he added a second shot to the glass.

As he made his way back across the room he couldn't help but wonder if he ever actually stood a chance with her.

"Your drink Rachel." He extended his hand in her direction.

Corman Stark wrote:

Grunting noncommittally, Corman cracked a small smirk as Rachel approached.  "Admiral.  I was afraid that you'd managed to leave me with the bag on this little shindig."  He chuckled lightly at her desire for scotch, remembering well the time that they'd been under the influence of the Beta spores, commiserating on their relative places in the universe and their lack of contentment therein.

"In fact, I do.  Not even secreted.  I guess that's one of the fringe benefits of things like this."  He held his glass up to the waitstaff member behind the table, indicating that he wanted another.  "Got one on the way."  Stark glanced up at the ceiling, frowning.  "Is anyone from Ops nearby?  I swear to God, it feels like it's getting colder in here."  

"Sure thing Admiral Rachel." Rama made his was across the room and located the appropriate bottle on the table he had setup to serve as a temporary bar. He poured a shot into a small clear glass. He then took a moment and looked back towards the Admiral. She seemed tense to him, so he added a second shot to the glass.

As he made his way back across the room he couldn't help but wonder if he ever actually stood a chance with her.

"Your drink Rachel." He extended his hand in her direction.

A wry smile tugged one corner of Rachel's lips upward as she listened to her second in command. They both seemed to hold the same quiet disdain and despair for such frivolous social gatherings and yet were forced to attend because of their positions on the station. She discreetly rolled her shoulders, resettling the armoured shirt she wore under her dress uniform.

Before she could say anything to him, however, Rama appeared at her elbow, proffering a glass. She only just managed to suppress the shudder at his continued use of her first name, especially since he had now dropped her rank. A slightly tense smile appeared as she turned to the Ferengi and took the glass.

"Thank you, Mr Rama," she replied, although she had no intention of drinking it. She refused to eat or drink anything that she hadn't replicated personally or that had been prepared by someone she trusted. Old sec/tac habits died hard.

Corman Stark wrote:

Grunting noncommittally, Corman cracked a small smirk as Rachel approached.  "Admiral.  I was afraid that you'd managed to leave me with the bag on this little shindig."  He chuckled lightly at her desire for scotch, remembering well the time that they'd been under the influence of the Beta spores, commiserating on their relative places in the universe and their lack of contentment therein.

"In fact, I do.  Not even secreted.  I guess that's one of the fringe benefits of things like this."  He held his glass up to the waitstaff member behind the table, indicating that he wanted another.  "Got one on the way."  Stark glanced up at the ceiling, frowning.  "Is anyone from Ops nearby?  I swear to God, it feels like it's getting colder in here."  

[Gathering]

It was often joked that Sigma preferred computers over people. While this held some amount of truth, they actually genuinely enjoyed interaction between themself and other people. It was just that their love was computers was so great that the comparison wasn't even fair. There weren't any computers here, but there were plenty of people. Sigma was mingling among them, though not reply staying in place for too long.

The drinks table didn't interest them much. Alcohol didn't agree with their systems and they were a lightweight anyway. A glass of basic punch was held tightly in their hand, the small tools retracted back into their fingertip implants long before they began enjoying themselves. After all, scratching the glass tended to make people testy.

Even enjoying themselves, they couldn't help but overhear Admiral Stark ask for Ops. Theyd just been transfered from engineering to Ops. Whatever it was, they could probably help.

"You asked for technical assistance?" They asked once within earshot.

NPC wrote:

Captain Salek

Pardek, was it?  Salek wondered if she was kin to the notorious Senator Pardek, he who had sold out Vulcan's interests to Romulan agitators.  Obviously, he was trained not to feel anger...but things like that made him understand the concept.



Salek turned from Safefta and to Commander Rellek, quirking his eyebrow as his near-eidetic memory took a few microseconds to summon up his memory of joint exercises with the Phoenix.  "In fact, I have, as you may recall."  He left it there, nodding simply.  "The April just made berth, and I wished to give my greetings.  It appears that I picked an...interesting time to do so."

Julia nodded towards the Captain. "No ma'am, we have not been formally introduced." She turned towards the Vulcan. "Although your reputation precedes you, sir." She extended her hand for a customary hand shake.

Sigma Nu wrote:

Even enjoying themselves, they couldn't help but overhear Admiral Stark ask for Ops. Theyd just been transfered from engineering to Ops. Whatever it was, they could probably help.

"You asked for technical assistance?" They asked once within earshot.

Corman didn't blame Rachel for wanting to down some good old scotch.  It certainly made bullcrap like this go down a lot smoother.  He smiled to himself as the waitstaff brought her some, as well as the Ferengi from the promenade.  What was that one acquisition rule?  Something about sucking up to the boss.

Turning as someone spoke at his other side, Corman nodded to Crewman Nu of Ops.  Or was it Crewman Sigma?  Deltans tended to be mononymous, but this kid was far, far from a usual Deltan.  "I've been tossing back scotch since seventeen thirty, crewman," he answered.  "And yet, it's almost like things are getting colder.  Maybe something with --"

Stark's reply was cut short, however, by the suddenly-obnoxious sound of jingling bells.  


Followed promptly by...a short humanoid decked in eye-hurting reds and greens...carrying a wrapped package...

Corman Stark wrote:

Corman didn't blame Rachel for wanting to down some good old scotch.  It certainly made bullcrap like this go down a lot smoother.  He smiled to himself as the waitstaff brought her some, as well as the Ferengi from the promenade.  What was that one acquisition rule?  Something about sucking up to the boss.

Turning as someone spoke at his other side, Corman nodded to Crewman Nu of Ops.  Or was it Crewman Sigma?  Deltans tended to be mononymous, but this kid was far, far from a usual Deltan.  "I've been tossing back scotch since seventeen thirty, crewman," he answered.  "And yet, it's almost like things are getting colder.  Maybe something with --"

Stark's reply was cut short, however, by the suddenly-obnoxious sound of jingling bells. Followed promptly by...a short humanoid decked in eye-hurting reds and greens...carrying a wrapped package...

Rachel had been trying to figure out a way to get rid of the glass of scotch that Rama had given her, finally passing it off to one of the roaming waiters. As desperate she was for a drink, she didn't trust one poured by the Ferengi. Thankfully, the one ordered by Stark arrived, one that she had watched being poured from the same bottle as was being used for other people to no ill effect. She took a large mouthful just as Stark's sentence was cut short by the appearance of... something.

Swallowing quickly, Rachel started to scan the apparition, trying to determine a species and possibly means of his arrival. She couldn't detect any traces of a ride through a standard transporter, although that didn't mean that he hadn't done so. Technologies and signatures differed so much between cultures that she hadn't been able to catalogue them all.

"Can we help you?" she asked, one eyebrow rising above the line of her VISOR.

Corman Stark wrote:

Stark's reply was cut short, however, by the suddenly-obnoxious sound of jingling bells.  Followed promptly by...a short humanoid decked in eye-hurting reds and greens...carrying a wrapped package...

Distracted from the somewhat awkward meeting between the Phoenix's command staff and the perpetually disapproving Captain Salek by the sound of bells and the sudden appearance of an unknown being, Archangel touched Gabriel's arm.

"Go and find the girls, please," she whispered urgently, her eyes not leaving the strange creature. In the expectation that he would obey the quiet order, she moved off into a more tactically advantageous position, feeling for the knife up her sleeve. While one didn't attend a meeting with an Admiral with a phaser on one's hip, there were no written rules against concealed weapons. This Christmas party would not end like the last one. She would slit this creature's throat before they could threaten her family or her crew.

Corman Stark wrote:

Stark's reply was cut short, however, by the suddenly-obnoxious sound of jingling bells.  Followed promptly by...a short humanoid decked in eye-hurting reds and greens...carrying a wrapped package...

With her programming picking up on a disturbance by the Admirals, Mira quickly excused herself from Myree, swiftly making her way through the gathered people to her commanding officers' sides. One of her roles at the party was, after all, to protect Admiral Deacon after the unfortunate incident at the diplomatic summit.

"May I be of assistance?" she enquired.

Julia didn't even get the chance to hear Saleks reply when the rather odd looking man appeared cross the room. " What the hell? She muttered. Always sporting her scientific mind she knew that there had to be a reasonable explanation. She quickly moved from the center of the room to a table in the corner. Under the table was one of the many emergency medical kits that were placed strategically throughout the station. She removed the box and opened it. She removed the medical tricorder and quickly turned off the medical applications, making it a standard scanning device.

"Sirs..." She turned to Archangel and Admiral Deacon. "I'm not detecting anything, its like there is nothing there."

Julia Rellek wrote:

Julia didn't even get the chance to hear Saleks reply when the rather odd looking man appeared cross the room. " What the hell? She muttered. Always sporting her scientific mind she knew that there had to be a reasonable explanation. She quickly moved from the center of the room to a table in the corner. Under the table was one of the many emergency medical kits that were placed strategically throughout the station. She removed the box and opened it. She removed the medical tricorder and quickly turned off the medical applications, making it a standard scanning device.

"Sirs..." She turned to Archangel and Admiral Deacon. "I'm not detecting anything, its like there is nothing there."

Sigma was about to suggest that they do a brief check on the environmental controls when an unexpected guest made an appearance. They looked remarkably n place for the surroundings, but otherwise completely ridiculous. When Julia suggested that they weren't there, they got the idea to check for themselves. After all, the last time they saw something that wasn't there, it was because of the difference in their own eyes.

They covered their orgnaic eye and swiveled the cybernetic one to focus on the arrival. "Confirmed, Admiral. I cannot see anything of substance there aside from an image."

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Distracted from the somewhat awkward meeting between the Phoenix's command staff and the perpetually disapproving Captain Salek by the sound of bells and the sudden appearance of an unknown being, Archangel touched Gabriel's arm.

"Go and find the girls, please," she whispered urgently, her eyes not leaving the strange creature.  In the expectation that he would obey the quiet order, she moved off into a more tactically advantageous position, feeling for the knife up her sleeve.  While one didn't attend a meeting with an Admiral with a phaser on one's hip, there were no written rules against concealed weapons.  This Christmas party would not end like the last one.  She would slit this creature's throat before they could threaten her family or her crew.

[Gathering]

Safefta didn't need to be told to immediately move into a defensive stance. She had three senior officers behind her, and no matter what Archangel had insisted, she was never really off duty. Duty meant to protect and serve in this instance... Even if he considered the Vulcan captain to be almost as stiff as she was and not someone she'd particularly care if hurt.

"What is that?" She asked cooly.

Gavin Van Gelder wrote:

Gavin scanned the room, his eyes quickly darting over the gathered officers.  He spotted more than a few that he knew from the station, and many more from the Phoenix.  There was Zero, and thankfully without Jiseth.  Now, if only that was a permanent situation.  Not that he wanted anything particularly bad to happen to the Romulan, but...if she got stationed on duty in the Delta Quadrant, he wouldn't shed any tears.

There, of course, was the drink table, replete with various alcohols from a hundred worlds, a smattering from all across the Federation.  Gavin had ideas, however, as he moved toward the non-alcoholic section, picking up two glasses and filling them with eggnog.  It was time to introduce Thelos to an old Christmas tradition.

Returning to the Andorian, Gavin carried two reindeer-shaped glasses, holding each by the antler handles.  "See what you think, love," he grinned, kissing him quickly on his blue cheek.  

[Gathering]

Technically, there were no seasons in space. However, that didn't mean that he couldn't appreciate the Winter simulation that occurred around him. Winter was, of course, his favorite season, at least on more temperate planets. On his own, it got a little bitter. That didn't matter here, though. He enjoyed thoroughly spending it with Gavin here, either way. He could do without the sweater, but it made Gavin happy and wasn't that bad, so he wore it.

He eyed the odd glasses in Gavin's hand when he can back as he chastely returned the kiss. He had no idea what the thick white substance was, though he imagined that it was safe to consume. "What is it?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the arrival on the other side of the room, and the guarded air that everyone was giving it. "Oh, no you don't," he said, more to himself than anyone else. The last time strange people came to a Christmas gathering, they started airing everyone's laundry. He didn't need that again. He most certainly would not get involved, and would much more happily devote his attention to his boyfriend instead.

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Distracted from the somewhat awkward meeting between the Phoenix's command staff and the perpetually disapproving Captain Salek by the sound of bells and the sudden appearance of an unknown being, Archangel touched Gabriel's arm.

"Go and find the girls, please," she whispered urgently, her eyes not leaving the strange creature.  In the expectation that he would obey the quiet order, she moved off into a more tactically advantageous position, feeling for the knife up her sleeve.  While one didn't attend a meeting with an Admiral with a phaser on one's hip, there were no written rules against concealed weapons.  This Christmas party would not end like the last one.  She would slit this creature's throat before they could threaten her family or her crew.

Gabriel could practically sense the shift in Archangel's tone and body language. It didn't take long to understand why. Every officer with command clearance was briefed on the extradimensional force known as the "Q", and the sad truth of it was...whatever one of them wanted to do to you, you pretty much had to sit back and quietly take it. A Q was not something to be defeated. It was something you endured and hoped would get bored.

He nodded quickly, slipping through the crowd and heading toward the Christmas tree, where Aria and Seika were engaged in a contest of trying to count the lights. "Four lights!" the little one crowed, laughing. "No, Arry," Seika replied, rolling her blue eyes. "There's a lot more than four." Gabriel knelt down, scooping Aria up in his arms and taking Seika's hand in his. "Daddy!" she beamed. "Me and Ika are counting." He smiled back, ruffling her blonde curls. "I see that."

"Alright...alright," Corman said, motioning for the staff at the bar to cut the music with a 'throat cut' motion.  "Everyone...stay calm."  His voice was one that he'd used many times over the years, through more situations than the cared to recount.  It was one of solid authority, one that was meant to assure everyone that he had things well in hand.  

Of course, it was total bullshit.  The Athena had suffered through one of these visitations before, and there had been a handful of AARs filed from Phoenix that more than hinted at supernatural involvement in their affairs.  He turned to the Christmas elf, his voice not threatening, but still conveying his extreme lack of enjoyment of the current situation.  "What is it you want?"


"My, my, my," came a new voice from over the elf's shoulder.  A feminine voice, one that sounded like a disappointed schoolmarm getting ready to scold willful pupils.  "Tsk.  I must say, you people haven't improved your manners in a year's time.  In fact, I think you're a hopeless case."

Buris wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say, or do, about the Cardassian - the fact that Gul Telak still lived. He could have sworn he saw the bastard dead - and the family. It'd been a needed act of revenge on his part for what happened to his own parents, and most of his cell. But he was a Starfleet officer now, not a rebel, not even a Maquis. He recognized that there could be "good Cardassians", that didn't include dead ones. But that didn't make him trust or like them any better after what he'd seen done.

But there was something more pressing at hand. Two creatures had appeared, apparently from nowhere. That was disconcerting enough, but he'd also noticed Pardek get more defensive. He looked back at the catwoman who'd mentioned Telak to him, his voice quiet. "M'Rai, stay near me, we're going toward the Captain. If these things want to cause trouble... we give them some 'trouble' of our own."

He waited for her to respond, and started to move toward the Captain and Lieutenant Rellek, not taking his eye off the intruders.

Arlan was hopelessly lost in the situation that had developed. One moment, everything had been going smoothly and he'd been trying to get the crewman who couldn't take his eyes off Leela to go and talk to her... and the next, everything seemed to freeze. Then again, this was a Starfleet operation. Everything followed the mood of the Command staff - and right now, the Captain and the Admirals seemed to be dealing with the elf and the woman who'd just appeared on-deck.

He looked at Conor, nerves creeping into his voice. "I think we'd better be ready for a fight."

Corman Stark wrote:

"My, my, my," came a new voice from over the elf's shoulder.  A feminine voice, one that sounded like a disappointed schoolmarm getting ready to scold willful pupils.  "Tsk.  I must say, you people haven't improved your manners in a year's time.  In fact, I think you're a hopeless case."

Archangel almost groaned at the sound of that voice. It was the same one that had ruined the Athena's Christmas party last year, through the very effective manner of airing everyone's dirty laundry. She and Gabriel had had to have a long conversation that night once again about how they were going to handle their family with her... extracurricular activities.

"We have improved," Archangel replied, her eyes narrowed. She folded her arms, supposedly in a defensive gesture, but also to put herself in a good position to draw her knife quickly. "Unlike the Continuum, the Federation can still move forward. We aren't an arrested civilisation. However, putting that behind us, what can we do for you this time?"

Corman Stark wrote:

"My, my, my," came a new voice from over the elf's shoulder.  A feminine voice, one that sounded like a disappointed schoolmarm getting ready to scold willful pupils.  "Tsk.  I must say, you people haven't improved your manners in a year's time.  In fact, I think you're a hopeless case."

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

"We have improved," Archangel replied, her eyes narrowed. She folded her arms, supposedly in a defensive gesture, but also to put herself in a good position to draw her knife quickly. "Unlike the Continuum, the Federation can still move forward. We aren't an arrested civilisation. However, putting that behind us, what can we do for you this time?"

Rachel was definitely not happy about the current situation. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was wondering if one armoured shirt was going to be enough to get her through this without injury. At least she had the slight reassurance from several others that the strange reading she was getting from her VISOR was probably accurate since Sigma and Mira also seemed to be having problems seeing it, or at least the cybernetic parts of Sigma was having problems.

The appearance of Q, however, put her even more on edge and, as much as she wanted to watch the Phoenix's captain cause a diplomatic incident with the Q Continuum, there was only so much she could professionally allow.

"Thank you, Captain, perhaps Admiral Stark and I should take over."

Kejal Buris wrote:

But there was something more pressing at hand.  Two creatures had appeared, apparently from nowhere.  That was disconcerting enough, but he'd also noticed Pardek get more defensive.  He looked back at the catwoman who'd mentioned Telak to him, his voice quiet. "M'Rai, stay near me, we're going toward the Captain.  If these things want to cause trouble... we give them some 'trouble' of our own."

As much as the situation developing with the new arrivals and the command staff was pulling at Persephone's curiosity, and a Caitian's curiosity was something that was very difficult to ignore, she was still concerned about Kejal's reaction to the Cardassians. Chances were that he would start something with them just as soon as he could and she was feeling slightly protective of the skinny Cardassian medic.

Perhaps fortunately, her curiosity got the better of her and, taking care to keep her claws out of site for the moment, she padded after the Bajoran, ears pricked and interested in what was happening.

Arlan Opran wrote:

Arlan was hopelessly lost in the situation that had developed.  One moment, everything had been going smoothly and he'd been trying to get the crewman who couldn't take his eyes off Leela to go and talk to her... and the next, everything seemed to freeze.  Then again, this was a Starfleet operation.  Everything followed the mood of the Command staff - and right now, the Captain and the Admirals seemed to be dealing with the elf and the woman who'd just appeared on-deck.

He looked at Conor, nerves creeping into his voice. "I think we'd better be ready for a fight."

The slighty-fizzy drink seemed to turn to a slurry of ash in Conor's mouth as he realized just what the hell was going on. From the looks on most of the faces, the situation seemed to at least be something that they were familiar with...if not thrilled. Apparently it was a foreign entity. One that hadn't made threatening moves, as of yet...but all he could think about was Ayora, his former security chief...and those mottled bastards removing her heart.

Conor nodded to Arlan, motioning toward Lieutenant Pardek. "Let's gather on the chief and see what the hell to do next."

Safefta Pardek wrote:

Safefta didn't need to be told to immediately move into a defensive stance. She had three senior officers behind her, and no matter what Archangel had insisted, she was never really off duty. Duty meant to protect and serve in this instance... Even if he considered the Vulcan captain to be almost as stiff as she was and not someone she'd particularly care if hurt.

"What is that?" She asked cooly.

Well. A Q. Typical, Salek thought, though he wasn't sure if he meant 'typical' for Starfleet, or just for T'Koris and her crew. Almost as if the unannounced presence of an extradimensional childlike god-king deity was her fault. He was slightly unnerved that he felt the need to apply that blame without proper aforethought.

Like all commanding officers, Salek was well-briefed on the Q beings. It was, of course, infinitely illogical to argue or fight them. Does a fool stand outside and rail at the sandstorms that burnished the stones? Of course not. Instead, he sidled next to Lieutenant Pardek, hands clasped behind his ramrod-straight back.

"Does...this happen often?"

Even if his hawk-like Klingon vision wasn't good enough, Raynor would have been able to tell that something wasn't wrong from just the sensation running along the back of his neck and in the base of his spine.  Every warrior developed a sense about such things.

He recognized the being, both from the encounter last year and from "her" appearance as a figure from the mythology of his father's world.  It was almost as if this Q was a herald of coming changes, especially considering the fallout from last Christmas gathering.  It had been the night when he and Ilana had come to terms with their feelings for one another, the first time they'd made love as a couple.  Very eventful.  If he were given to philosophical musing, Raynor might dwell on all it meant to have Q here once again.

Unfortunately, he was just annoyed by the damnable woman.

Reaching behind his back, Raynor worked loose the d'k tahg he kept tucked there, glancing at Ilana.  "I wonder if they bleed."

Rachel Deacon wrote:

The appearance of Q, however, put her even more on edge and, as much as she wanted to watch the Phoenix's captain cause a diplomatic incident with the Q Continuum, there was only so much she could professionally allow.

"Thank you, Captain, perhaps Admiral Stark and I should take over."

"Don't bother," Q replied, holding her hand out to Admiral Deacon without even looking at her.  "I'm not really that interested in hearing what you'd have to say, even if you could hold a conversation on my level."

Slowly turning, Q pursed her lips and allowed her gaze to take in the entire room, pulling off one of her thin, white gloves, finger by finger.  "Well.  You may...pretend...to have gained some manners," she said, turning to Archangel and cocking her head, a long-suffering look painted on her face. "But I know differently.  Look at you!"  She returned her attention to the room at large. "You're practically ready to bite my throat out.  Which one shoots first?  My poor elf is beside himself," she smirked, as the elfin companion slumped his green-and-red-clad shoulders.  

"Not that it matters," she continued.  "I am not here to list your transgressions, of which there are legion.  No...this is Christmas.  I've come bearing...gifts."