Turning Back Time [Raynor/Ilana]

Ilana Telak wrote:

The Cardassian squinted up at her best friend as he spoke, thinking that she heard some kind of inflection in his voice that meant that his mind was elsewhere, but she couldn't be sure about it.  She couldn't be sure about much that her senses told her at that point.

"Th-they th-think that C-C-Cardassians are almost d-d-deaf.  Th-they d-d-don't t-take m-m-much c-care about h-h-how th-they s-s-speak."  She frowned slightly again.  "Wh-why d-d-do th-they s-s-say th-things l-like th-that?  Y-y-you are m-my b-b-best f-friend in the wh-whole g-g-galaxy."  Her voice had taken on that tired edge again, speaking without control.  "I d-d-don't w-want t-t-to l-lose y-y-you.  I d-don't understand.  What d-does 'b-b-begging for it' m-mean?  Or 't-t-taking advantage'?  S-so m-much I d-don't understand.  Wish I knew m-more.  T-tired... Why s-so tired?"

Raynor sighed, smiling sadly at his friend. His...counterpart. "No, I do not wish to go anywhere." Though you should, coward. He leaned forward, placing a light and gentle kiss on the back of her hand, glancing back up to give her another apologetic look.

"Those things...they mean..." he began, sighing. "The times that we mat...er, made love," Raynor said, his face twisting up a little as he searched and found the human idiom. "They are saying that I preyed on you, and that you have encouraged it." He hated this line of thought, but it was keeping her alert and talking, so...

Raynor Hughes wrote:

Raynor sighed, smiling sadly at his friend.  His...counterpart.  "No, I do not wish to go anywhere."  Though you should, coward.  He leaned forward, placing a light and gentle kiss on the back of her hand, glancing back up to give her another apologetic look.  

"Those things...they mean..."  he began, sighing.  "The times that we mat...er, made love," Raynor said, his face twisting up a little as he searched and found the human idiom.  "They are saying that I preyed on you, and that you have encouraged it."  He hated this line of thought, but it was keeping her alert and talking, so...

"B-but you d-did not... I did not..." Ilana blinked, trying to understand something that her naive mind had never come across. "You t-turned your b-back on your c-c-culture when w-we mated. You w-would not h-have done th-that if you w-were p-preying on me." She sighed, shifting slightly on the biobed to try to find a more comfortable position on the narrow surface. "H-humans are so mean," she continued, her voice a little softer, trailing off as she spoke and her eyelids drooped again. "Why are th-they b-better than us? Don't want t-to lose you. L-l-love y-you."

Ilana Telak wrote:

"B-but you d-did not... I did not..." Ilana blinked, trying to understand something that her naive mind had never come across.  "You t-turned your b-back on your c-c-culture when w-we mated.  You w-would not h-have done th-that if you w-were p-preying on me."  She sighed, shifting slightly on the biobed to try to find a more comfortable position on the narrow surface.  "H-humans are so mean," she continued, her voice a little softer, trailing off as she spoke and her eyelids drooped again.  "Why are th-they b-better than us?  Don't want t-to lose you.  L-l-love y-you."

Raynor felt a sharp spike of alarm as she started to babble. It seemed that she might be on the verge of passing out again. However, that alarm more than doubled at what she said as she trailed off. Kortar's balls! he thought, eyes widening a bit. No, no...she could not mean that she loved him. Not in that way. Surely not. He knew that he had to maintain a distance, lest he bring more hurt to her. There were myriad reasons why they absolutely must not move beyond their friendship. All of them good, all of them solid. "I love you too, Lana," he said, soft as the Shroud of Kahless.

"I turned my back on nothing," he said, a bit louder, and with conviction. "Nothing at all. Who I choose for companionship has no effect on that. If any fool thinks so, then they can say so to my face."

Raynor Hughes wrote:

Raynor felt a sharp spike of alarm as she started to babble.  It seemed that she might be on the verge of passing out again.  However, that alarm more than doubled at what she said as she trailed off.  Kortar's balls! he thought, eyes widening a bit.  No, no...she could not mean that she loved him.  Not in that way.  Surely not.  He knew that he had to maintain a distance, lest he bring more hurt to her.  There were myriad reasons why they absolutely must not move beyond their friendship.  All of them good, all of them solid.  "I love you too, Lana," he said, soft as the Shroud of Kahless.

"I turned my back on nothing," he said, a bit louder, and with conviction.  "Nothing at all.  Who I choose for companionship has no effect on that.  If any fool thinks so, then they can say so to my face."

A Cardassian's hearing was known for being below that of a human, and Ilana couldn't be sure of what she had caught just on the edge of that hearing. She certainly wasn't sure that it was real. All of the medication she had been given was causing her to doubt her senses.

"Klingon c-culture makes m-many demands," she murmured in the same, rolling tone. "Klingon mating r-rituals... very s-strict. Honour... Honour m-must be s-satisfied. Y-you let th-that go. D-didn't hold m-me t-to your c-customs when you c-could have d-done. M-missed you s-so much when y-you were away... Th-thought you w-wouldn't c-c-come back..."

Ilana Telak wrote:

A Cardassian's hearing was known for being below that of a human, and Ilana couldn't be sure of what she had caught just on the edge of that hearing.  She certainly wasn't sure that it was real.  All of the medication she had been given was causing her to doubt her senses.

"Klingon c-culture makes m-many demands," she murmured in the same, rolling tone.  "Klingon mating r-rituals... very s-strict.  Honour... Honour m-must be s-satisfied.  Y-you let th-that go.  D-didn't hold m-me t-to your c-customs when you c-could have d-done.  M-missed you s-so much when y-you were away...  Th-thought you w-wouldn't c-c-come back..."

"Oh?" Raynor asked, smiling softly. "And do I look any less Klingon to you, Lana? I am who I am...and any problems I had with that have long since been dead and buried." He shrugged. "I'm too big, too rough, too violent for humanity. A wolf may sit with hounds, and play nice with them...but the hounds will always be aware of how close they are to having their throats bitten out." He shifted in his seat, still keeping hold of her hand. "And I am far too soft, too weak, for Klingons. They see me not as a wolf, but as a targ wearing the skin of a sabre bear."

The Klingon shrugged again, giving a self-deprecating chuckle. "And you see, Lana...why I don't rightly give a damn about what customs I am held to, and what I am not. Only the most rigid and disciplined Klingons care about mating ritual that much. Ruling Caste families, with their precious bloodlines, paH!" he snarled. "Bunch of inbred asses, anyway."

He gave the hand another light kiss. "I'll be honest...I didn't know if I'd be coming back, either. But...I looked at my life, truly looked at it. It may have been the selfish thing to do, but...I missed you. I did not want a life without you in it."

Raynor Hughes wrote:

"Oh?" Raynor asked, smiling softly.  "And do I look any less Klingon to you, Lana?  I am who I am...and any problems I had with that have long since been dead and buried."  He shrugged.  "I'm too big, too rough, too violent for humanity.  A wolf may sit with hounds, and play nice with them...but the hounds will always be aware of how close they are to having their throats bitten out."  He shifted in his seat, still keeping hold of her hand.  "And I am far too soft, too weak, for Klingons.  They see me not as a wolf, but as a targ wearing the skin of a sabre bear."

The Klingon shrugged again, giving a self-deprecating chuckle.  "And you see, Lana...why I don't rightly give a damn about what customs I am held to, and what I am not.  Only the most rigid and disciplined Klingons care about mating ritual that much.  Ruling Caste families, with their precious bloodlines, paH!" he snarled.  "Bunch of inbred asses, anyway."  

He gave the hand another light kiss.  "I'll be honest...I didn't know if I'd be coming back, either.  But...I looked at my life, truly looked at it.  It may have been the selfish thing to do, but...I missed you.  I did not want a life without you in it."

Ilana managed to squeeze the hand in hers gently, her brain still a little sluggish about transmitting any signals to the rest of her body. She shivered a little, but gave a faint smile.

"Y-you have always b-been like a p-parent wolf to me, always t-taking c-care not to h-hurt me, always j-j-jumping b-back if I yelp." Her eyes drifted closed again, but her smile remained. "So happy... when y-you came back. So r-relieved when I s-saw you again... At being p-posted t-together again... N-no one closer... Cold..."

Ilana Telak wrote:

Ilana managed to squeeze the hand in hers gently, her brain still a little sluggish about transmitting any signals to the rest of her body.  She shivered a little, but gave a faint smile.

"Y-you have always b-been like a p-parent wolf to me, always t-taking c-care not to h-hurt me, always j-j-jumping b-back if I yelp."  Her eyes drifted closed again, but her smile remained.  "So happy... when y-you came back.  So r-relieved when I s-saw you again...  At being p-posted t-together again...  N-no one closer...  Cold..."

"I...am not going anywhere, Lana," Raynor said, nodding. No matter what he should do...he knew that was true. "I will be any wolf I need to be." And bite out any throat that needs it.

He frowned as she shivered, touching along her arm. She felt cool, but that was her default temperature. "Are you still cold, Lana? Would you like me to call Doctor T'Rann back?"

Raynor Hughes wrote:

"I...am not going anywhere, Lana," Raynor said, nodding.  No matter what he should do...he knew that was true.  "I will be any wolf I need to be."  And bite out any throat that needs it.

He frowned as she shivered, touching along her arm.  She felt cool, but that was her default temperature.  "Are you still cold, Lana?  Would you like me to call Doctor T'Rann back?"

The faint smile was still there as Ilana struggled to reach out a hand to the Klingon, seeking the furnace of warmth that his body was compared to hers. She was cold despite the temperature rise that Raynor had requested only a few moments ago, so very cold.

Something sharp seemed to pierce her skull, pain lancing through as if whatever it was had jammed itself far into her brain tissue. She gave a sharp gasp, her eyes open wide for a heartbeat before the light just seemed to go out of their green depths.

Ilana Telak wrote:

The faint smile was still there as Ilana struggled to reach out a hand to the Klingon, seeking the furnace of warmth that his body was compared to hers.  She was cold despite the temperature rise that Raynor had requested only a few moments ago, so very cold.

Something sharp seemed to pierce her skull, pain lancing through as if whatever it was had jammed itself far into her brain tissue.  She gave a sharp gasp, her eyes open wide for a heartbeat before the light just seemed to go out of their green depths.

A loud and insistent alarm started going off as Ilana gave a gasp. Raynor immediately jumped into action, activating the commbadge once again. "Hughes to T'Rann, medical emergency, again!"

"Hold on, Lana! Just hold on," he said, watching her readings. She was going into another round of rejection, it looked like. How many more times could they revive her, and keep probing? Was it too late to remove the implant? Was it too late for her?

Raynor Hughes wrote:

A loud and insistent alarm started going off as Ilana gave a gasp.  Raynor immediately jumped into action, activating the commbadge once again.  "Hughes to T'Rann, medical emergency, again!"

"Hold on, Lana!  Just hold on," he said, watching her readings.  She was going into another round of rejection, it looked like.  How many more times could they revive her, and keep probing?  Was it too late to remove the implant?  Was it too late for her?  

The Vulcan was quick to respond to the emergency call, pulling out her tricorder before she even reached the Cardassian's bedside. Her dark eyes swept the 'corder readings and the readouts from the biobed.

"Neural metaphasic shock," came the diagnosis. "The implant must be trying to take over more than her system can handle. There may be nothing we can do."

Ilana Telak wrote:

The Vulcan was quick to respond to the emergency call, pulling out her tricorder before she even reached the Cardassian's bedside.  Her dark eyes swept the 'corder readings and the readouts from the biobed.

"Neural metaphasic shock," came the diagnosis.  "The implant must be trying to take over more than her system can handle.  There may be nothing we can do."

He was no brain surgeon, but Raynor was knowledgeable enough to know that the diagnosis was not a hopeful one. You shouldn't have let her go through with this, he chastised himself. You *knew* how frail she was! No, not was...is.

"So what, then? We just stand here and see if she dies?" He shook his head. "Not good enough, doctor. There has to be something else we can do." Other than prepare to sing her Death Song? Ilana was no Klingon, obviously, but she had a warrior's heart, and there was no shame in her dying in this fight. That didn't bring near the comfort that he knew it should have, though.

Doctor T'Rann looked up at the Klingon, noting the emotion in his stance and voice. She hadn't been sure how he would react to the possibility of losing the patient lying between them, especially since ahe knew that they were close. Logic dictated that he shouldn't have been allowed to operate with her, but it had been a request on the patient's part and, where possible, those requests were honoured.

"This patient is rejecting the implant, Lieutenant. This was always a possibility due to the nature of it. Removal will most likely result in her death." The Vulcan pursed her lips briefly in thought. She turned to the tray of hypos that had been prepared earlier, selecting a couple as she spoke. "Prepare electric stimulus on a low level. We will attept to shut down the implant temporarily and administer an immunosuppressant."

Ilana Telak wrote:

Doctor T'Rann looked up at the Klingon, noting the emotion in his stance and voice. She hadn't been sure how he would react to the possibility of losing the patient lying between them, especially since ahe knew that they were close. Logic dictated that he shouldn't have been allowed to operate with her, but it had been a request on the patient's part and, where possible, those requests were honoured.

"This patient is rejecting the implant, Lieutenant. This was always a possibility due to the nature of it. Removal will most likely result in her death." The Vulcan pursed her lips briefly in thought. She turned to the tray of hypos that had been prepared earlier, selecting a couple as she spoke. "Prepare electric stimulus on a low level. We will attept to shut down the implant temporarily and administer an immunosuppressant."

"I'm no child," Raynor said, his voice deadly-still as tomb vapor. "I know the risks...and she did, too."

He watched as the Vulcan rooted through the hypos. Shut the implant down? There was a chance that it might not fire back up properly, but...the list of 'other choices' was woefully thin right about now. Raynor's fingers went to the biobed's console, communicating with the cortical stimulator. "Alright," Raynor said. "Charge prepared. Ready when you are."

Raynor Hughes wrote:

"I'm no child," Raynor said, his voice deadly-still as tomb vapor.  "I know the risks...and she did, too."  

He watched as the Vulcan rooted through the hypos.  Shut the implant down?  There was a chance that it might not fire back up properly, but...the list of 'other choices' was woefully thin right about now.  Raynor's fingers went to the biobed's console, communicating with the cortical stimulator.  "Alright," Raynor said.  "Charge prepared.  Ready when you are."  

Doctor T'Rann jabbed the first of her hyposprays into Ilana's neck, not taking care to be gentle about it. There was no time to be gentle when a life was at stake.

"Spike," she ordered Raynor, intending him to start sending the pulses into the implant while she prepared a second dose of the hypo, this one directly into the Cardassian's heart.

Ilana Telak wrote:

Doctor T'Rann jabbed the first of her hyposprays into Ilana's neck, not taking care to be gentle about it.  There was no time to be gentle when a life was at stake.

"Spike," she ordered Raynor, intending him to start sending the pulses into the implant while she prepared a second dose of the hypo, this one directly into the Cardassian's heart.

Stone-faced, Raynor watched as hypos were jammed into Ilana. He knew that such measures were needed, and had the ability as both a medic and as a warrior to distance his emotions from such an act. Still...to see Ilana treated as so much meat...it infuriated him to think that she'd had to come to such lengths. That his actions had caused it to come to this point. That...

No. One simple word, but enough to switch his mental discipline back on. There would be plenty of time for blame...but that time was not now.

"Spiked," he said, doing just that, watching as her prone form shuddered under the electrical pulses.

Raynor Hughes wrote:

Stone-faced, Raynor watched as hypos were jammed into Ilana.  He knew that such measures were needed, and had the ability as both a medic and as a warrior to distance his emotions from such an act.  Still...to see Ilana treated as so much meat...it infuriated him to think that she'd had to come to such lengths.  That his actions had caused it to come to this point.  That...

No.  One simple word, but enough to switch his mental discipline back on.  There would be plenty of time for blame...but that time was not now.

"Spiked," he said, doing just that, watching as her prone form shuddered under the electrical pulses.  

After placing an oxygen mask over the patient's face, Doctor T'Ran administered the final hypos and paused, her eyes on the vital sign monitors for any indication that what they had done had been enough to bring Ilana back from the edge.

There was silence for a moment and the Vulcan started to strip off her surgical gloves, shaking her head in defeat. Then a blip on the heart monitor.

And another.

And another.

The pattern was slightly irregular, but it was there and it was strong enough for life. The Vulcan raised an eyebrow, almost in surprise. "Fascinating."

Ilana Telak wrote:

After placing an oxygen mask over the patient's face, Doctor T'Ran administered the final hypos and paused, her eyes on the vital sign monitors for any indication that what they had done had been enough to bring Ilana back from the edge.

There was silence for a moment and the Vulcan started to strip off her surgical gloves, shaking her head in defeat.  Then a blip on the heart monitor.

And another.

And another.

The pattern was slightly irregular, but it was there and it was strong enough for life.  The Vulcan raised an eyebrow, almost in surprise.  "Fascinating."

How do you prepare for death? Not your own, but someone else's? The answer, for a Klingon, is relatively simple - death is something to be ready for, and to hope that the day is good, and the cause worth it. Nothing else.

But what if that person is not Klingon? What if they were about as frail and innocent a soul as one had ever encountered in all of space? She didn't even know why people gossip about *sex*, he thought, watching with what felt like a growing sense of detachment as Ilana's life slipped away from her. What was ahead for her? She was not able to enter Sto'Vo'Kor. Would he be able to follow her, to treat for her soul's entrance? Was such a thing even possible? It was worth considering, however, and ---

Raynor's head snapped up when his hearing caught the faint blip of the heart monitor. Was it possible? It seemed so. "Yes," he said, numbly. "Fascinating. What else can we do on our end?"

Raynor Hughes wrote:

How do you prepare for death?  Not your own, but someone else's?  The answer, for a Klingon, is relatively simple - death is something to be ready for, and to hope that the day is good, and the cause worth it.  Nothing else.

But what if that person is not Klingon?  What if they were about as frail and innocent a soul as one had ever encountered in all of space?  She didn't even know why people gossip about *sex*, he thought, watching with what felt like a growing sense of detachment as Ilana's life slipped away from her.  What was ahead for her?  She was not able to enter Sto'Vo'Kor.  Would he be able to follow her, to treat for her soul's entrance?  Was such a thing even possible?  It was worth considering, however, and ---

Raynor's head snapped up when his hearing caught the faint blip of the heart monitor.  Was it possible?  It seemed so.  "Yes," he said, numbly.  "Fascinating.  What else can we do on our end?"

"We must provide regular injections of immunosuppressant and keep her body from overstressing itself.  Bloodpressure and heartrate must be kept low," the Vulcan doctor replied.  "I recommend an induced coma for two days, then we can bring her round.  That will give her brain enough time to adjust to the presence of the implant as long as we keep up the immunosuppressant hypos.  We can look into reactivating the implant after then."

She looked up at Raynor, one eyebrow raised.  "I understand that Klingons are in the business of making their own luck.  You may wish to make some for her."

Ilana Telak wrote:

"We must provide regular injections of immunosuppressant and keep her body from overstressing itself.  Bloodpressure and heartrate must be kept low," the Vulcan doctor replied.  "I recommend an induced coma for two days, then we can bring her round.  That will give her brain enough time to adjust to the presence of the implant as long as we keep up the immunosuppressant hypos.  We can look into reactivating the implant after then."

She looked up at Raynor, one eyebrow raised.  "I understand that Klingons are in the business of making their own luck.  You may wish to make some for her."

[Two Days Later]

Raynor thought quite a bit about what the Vulcan woman had said about 'making luck' in the days that followed, as he watched Ilana's progress. He'd spent most of his free time (and more than a few duty hours) there in Sickbay, waiting in agonizing silence for her to wake up.

Not long ago, the Klingon had received a characteristically curt message from Doctor T'Rann. Apparently, it was time to bring her out of the coma. This is no way for anyone to live a life, no matter what, he thought, picturing Ilana in her prone state, kept alive by machines. No Klingon would suffer to live like that. And what if she had asked you for death? Would you have had the courage to grant it? Likely not. Just like he still didn't have the courage to get out of her life.

Entering Sickbay, Raynor nodded to the doctor.

Doctor T'Rann was waiting by her patient's bedside as Raynor stepped into sickbay. She nodded in acknowledgement to him, handing him a hypospray with a mild stimulant. They would need Ilana as coherent as possible in order to know what damage had been done.

She reached forward, her long fingers switching off the delta wave inducer and taking it off the Cardassian's temple.

Ilana Telak wrote:

Doctor T'Rann was waiting by her patient's bedside as Raynor stepped into sickbay.  She nodded in acknowledgement to him, handing him a hypospray with a mild stimulant.  They would need Ilana as coherent as possible in order to know what damage had been done.

She reached forward, her long fingers switching off the delta wave inducer and taking it off the Cardassian's temple.

No words were necessary, and thus none were spared, as Raynor took the hypo from T'Rann. He watched as she began the process of shutting down the delta inducer. With it's removal, the Klingon checked the dosage in the hypo. Not that he didn't trust the Vulcan's work, but...there was no underestimating the importance of the next few moments.

Slowly, gently, Raynor pressed the hypo to the Cardassian's neck, releasing the medication that would bring her to consciousness. Nothing to do but wait, now, he grimly thought.

Raynor Hughes wrote:

No words were necessary, and thus none were spared, as Raynor took the hypo from T'Rann.  He watched as she began the process of shutting down the delta inducer.  With it's removal, the Klingon checked the dosage in the hypo.  Not that he didn't trust the Vulcan's work, but...there was no underestimating the importance of the next few moments.

Slowly, gently, Raynor pressed the hypo to the Cardassian's neck, releasing the medication that would bring her to consciousness.  Nothing to do but wait, now, he grimly thought.

Doctor T'Rann kept a careful eye on the vital sign readings as the Cardassian on the bed started to stir. The heartrate was still a little high and her temperature was on the low side, but that didn't seem to bother the doctor.

Ilana didn't stir for a moment. Then her eyelids blinked open and she let out a soft breath before frowning slightly, looking up at the two people leaning over her. Her expression turned a little confused.

Ilana Telak wrote:

Doctor T'Rann kept a careful eye on the vital sign readings as the Cardassian on the bed started to stir.  The heartrate was still a little high and her temperature was on the low side, but that didn't seem to bother the doctor.

Ilana didn't stir for a moment.  Then her eyelids blinked open and she let out a soft breath before frowning slightly, looking up at the two people leaning over her.  Her expression turned a little confused.

Ilana's temperature was low, but that was normal. Still, he was a bit concerned. "Temp's running cold," he murmured. "We should increase the temperature in the room in general. She had low temp before...before everything happened."

The first movement he noticed was the flickering of her eyelids. Her green eyes looked bleary and confused. That was also to be expected. "Lana," Raynor said, leaning over her and smiling. "How...how do you feel?"

Raynor Hughes wrote:

Ilana's temperature was low, but that was normal.  Still, he was a bit concerned.  "Temp's running cold," he murmured.  "We should increase the temperature in the room in general.  She had low temp before...before everything happened."

The first movement he noticed was the flickering of her eyelids.  Her green eyes looked bleary and confused.  That was also to be expected.  "Lana," Raynor said, leaning over her and smiling.  "How...how do you feel?"

Doctor T'Rann nodded as she listened to Raynor's comment about the patient's temperature, reaching under the biobed and taking out a thick blanket that had been lying on a heating pad, shaking it out over the Cardassian.

Ilana took a few moments to figure out out where she was, reaching out to touch the hand that was leaning on the edge of the biobed. T'Rann kept a careful eye on her. The implant should have reactivated itself by now, allowing her speech again.

The Cardassian swallowed a couple of times, trying to get rid of the feeling of dryness in her mouth.

"W-weak."

Ilana Telak wrote:

Doctor T'Rann nodded as she listened to Raynor's comment about the patient's temperature, reaching under the biobed and taking out a thick blanket that had been lying on a heating pad, shaking it out over the Cardassian.

Ilana took a few moments to figure out out where she was, reaching out to touch the hand that was leaning on the edge of the biobed.  T'Rann kept a careful eye on her.  The implant should have reactivated itself by now, allowing her speech again.

The Cardassian swallowed a couple of times, trying to get rid of the feeling of dryness in her mouth.

"W-weak."

"Weak?" Raynor asked, cocking a grin. "I tend to disagree. You have the heart of Lukara herself, Lana," he said, gently placing his hand on the slim grey one that was weakly touching him. He glanced down at the blanket, and then back up to the Cardassian's face. "Tell me your senses, Lana. Everything, as they're coming to you. I want to know what you're seeing, hearing, feeling...leave nothing out."