Battle of the Minds - [Chira/Archangel]

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Archangel folded her arms, turning back to look at Chira, a distinctly unamused look on her face as she did so.  This was a line of questioning that she really didn't want to get into, especially not with someone so close to her family.  She didn't want to ruin whatever vision the counsellor seemed to have built up about her.

"When you look at a captain, what are their responsibilities?"

Chira had the very distinct feeling that she was being parried. She knew that Arch would duck the question as long as she let her. And that was enough to let Chira know how vitally important the line of inquiry was. The problem with that? Archangel had a lifetime's experience in parrying that which she did not wish to talk about. And she's a hell of a lot smarter than I am, Chira thought. Well. If Archangel wanted to play the game like this, then they'd play.

"To the ship, foremost. The captain has been placed in life-and-death charge of hundreds of souls. Hundreds of lives, personalities, goals, objectives, mores, outlooks...working toward one, yes, but all different. To complete the mission, to render aid where possible, to spread the good will of the Federation, all while walking the razor-thin line of the Prime Directive. A tough row, no matter how you look at it."

Chira Abols wrote:

Chira had the very distinct feeling that she was being parried.  She knew that Arch would duck the question as long as she let her.  And that was enough to let Chira know how vitally important the line of inquiry was.  The problem with that?  Archangel had a lifetime's experience in parrying that which she did not wish to talk about.  And she's a hell of a lot smarter than I am, Chira thought.  Well.  If Archangel wanted to play the game like this, then they'd play.

"To the ship, foremost.  The captain has been placed in life-and-death charge of hundreds of souls.  Hundreds of lives, personalities, goals, objectives, mores, outlooks...working toward one, yes, but all different.  To complete the mission, to render aid where possible, to spread the good will of the Federation, all while walking the razor-thin line of the Prime Directive.  A tough row, no matter how you look at it."

Archangel gave a humourless smile as she listened to Chira. "Think about it," she replied. "Think about what responsibilities a captain has, and then look at my service record as a command officer."

Archangel knew that her record that stated that the twice she had been in command of a starship, she had lost it to hostile forces and one of those times, many lives had been lost. That was the very definition of unsuccessful. She had failed in her duty, and that was the end of it. She wasn't even Romulan anymore.

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Archangel gave a humourless smile as she listened to Chira.  "Think about it," she replied.  "Think about what responsibilities a captain has, and then look at my service record as a command officer."  

Archangel knew that her record that stated that the twice she had been in command of a starship, she had lost it to hostile forces and one of those times, many lives had been lost.  That was the very definition of unsuccessful.  She had failed in her duty, and that was the end of it.  She wasn't even Romulan anymore.

"Incidents," Chira continued, nodding, "that were entirely out of your hands. What were you to do, turn your ship over to the Jarris people? It was a Sovereign, Arch! Even I know that they're one of the most advanced that we've got in the fleet. Were you to be the captain that handed top Starfleet tech over to terrorists? Is that what you blame yourself for not doing?"

She was on a bit of a roll, and not about to stop. "As for recently...well. Captains come up against the unknown all the time, and they don't always come out on top. I mean, take the Enterprise for example. The original, captained by the most legendary CO in history. Even if at least half of his memoirs are embellishments, that crew found themselves whisked away, zapped, what have you...it seems like all the time. Who is blaming you for that?"

Chira Abols wrote:

"Incidents," Chira continued, nodding, "that were entirely out of your hands.  What were you to do, turn your ship over to the Jarris people?  It was a Sovereign, Arch!  Even I know that they're one of the most advanced that we've got in the fleet.  Were you to be the captain that handed top Starfleet tech over to terrorists?  Is that what you blame yourself for not doing?"

She was on a bit of a roll, and not about to stop.  "As for recently...well.  Captains come up against the unknown all the time, and they don't always come out on top.  I mean, take the Enterprise for example.  The original, captained by the most legendary CO in history.  Even if at least half of his memoirs are embellishments, that crew found themselves whisked away, zapped, what have you...it seems like all the time.  Who is blaming you for that?"

There was an anger building inside Archangel's chest, the same anger she always felt when someone tried to tell her that what had happened wasn't her fault. What part of accepting responsibility for anything that happened to the ship and crew did people not understand? Why couldn't they understand just how much it had torn at her to see Gabriel nearly killed right in front of her eyes when she had the power to save him?

She raised one upswept eyebrow at the counsellor in front of her. This was the territory that she didn't want to get into, the reason she had been avoiding her counselling sessions for so long. The muscles in her jaw clenched slightly, proof that she didn't intend to speak on the matter.

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

There was an anger building inside Archangel's chest, the same anger she always felt when someone tried to tell her that what had happened wasn't her fault.  What part of accepting responsibility for anything that happened to the ship and crew did people not understand?  Why couldn't they understand just how much it had torn at her to see Gabriel nearly killed right in front of her eyes when she had the power to save him?

She raised one upswept eyebrow at the counsellor in front of her.  This was the territory that she didn't want to get into, the reason she had been avoiding her counselling sessions for so long.  The muscles in her jaw clenched slightly, proof that she didn't intend to speak on the matter.

Non-recovery, Chira thought to herself. After two events like this, it doesn't surprise me a damn bit. Archangel clearly did not want to talk about this subject, which was a glaring alarm klaxon that it probably should be talked about.

Standing, Chira quietly moved back over to the replicator, making them two new cups of hot tea. She set them both down on the edge of the desk, taking up a padd from the drawer that was a bit wider than usual. This one was not Starfleet-issue, since it was for recreational writing only.

"I'm not here to badger you about it, Arch. But silence...isn't working. I understand that you don't want to talk about it." She handed the padd over to her sister-in-law, along with a writing stylus. "I'd like for you to write it out for me, Arch. Just you and me, nobody else will see it. Write about the Jarris incident, and tell me why you think everything that happened...happened."

Chira Abols wrote:

Non-recovery, Chira thought to herself.  After two events like this, it doesn't surprise me a damn bit.  Archangel clearly did not want to talk about this subject, which was a glaring alarm klaxon that it probably should be talked about.

Standing, Chira quietly moved back over to the replicator, making them two new cups of hot tea.  She set them both down on the edge of the desk, taking up a padd from the drawer that was a bit wider than usual.  This one was not Starfleet-issue, since it was for recreational writing only.  

"I'm not here to badger you about it, Arch.  But silence...isn't working.  I understand that you don't want to talk about it."  She handed the padd over to her sister-in-law, along with a writing stylus.  "I'd like for you to write it out for me, Arch.  Just you and me, nobody else will see it.  Write about the Jarris incident, and tell me why you think everything that happened...happened."

It should have been easy, to take the PADD and just start writing, to write down all the words in her head that had been plaguing her since Jarris had stood on her bridge. She reached out, taking the stylus and the PADD. She looked at them for a moment, the stylus hovering a few centimetres above the slate. Why was it so hard to do this?

With a heavy sigh, she set the PADD and the pencil on the desk.

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

It should have been easy, to take the PADD and just start writing, to write down all the words in her head that had been plaguing her since Jarris had stood on her bridge.  She reached out, taking the stylus and the PADD.  She looked at them for a moment, the stylus hovering a few centimetres above the slate.  Why was it so hard to do this?

With a heavy sigh, she set the PADD and the pencil on the desk.

Chira eyed the padd, and then the Romulan who had refused it. She made a mental note to be sure and check in with Gabriel, too. Chira knew that he was a very patient person, and had been since they were kids, but she also wondered how much of his grief, and his frustration, that he must be burying. Overall, it wasn't the picture of health for either of them.

"Alright," she said, taking the padd up again, and handing it back. "We don't have to get into everything. Can you write down, then, what you feel you should have done differently?"

Chira Abols wrote:

Chira eyed the padd, and then the Romulan who had refused it.  She made a mental note to be sure and check in with Gabriel, too.  Chira knew that he was a very patient person, and had been since they were kids, but she also wondered how much of his grief, and his frustration, that he must be burying.  Overall, it wasn't the picture of health for either of them.

"Alright," she said, taking the padd up again, and handing it back.  "We don't have to get into everything.  Can you write down, then, what you feel you should have done differently?"

Once again, Archangel reached out and took the stylus and PADD before simply looking at them. Once or twice, she touched the stylus to the screen, as if she was aboint to write, then she started. Her hand moved slowly at first, jerkily, then with a more flowing motion that told of years of practice in writing on a similar slate, writing the words that she knew so well. They went round and round her head so often that it was ingrained into her psyche along with other words that had been spoken to her.

I should not have left the bridge.
I should not have gone unarmed.
I should have fought against the restraints.
I should have done more to save Dora Hawkins
I should not have given any sign that I had any relationship with Gabriel.
I should have tried harder to escape.
I should not have let Jarris touch me the way he did.
I should not have let Jarris hurt Gabriel.
I should not have believed that Jarris had killed Gabriel.
I should have had faith that Gabriel was alive.
I should have used what I have been taught.
I should not have broken mnhei'sahe.
I should have been stronger.
I should have been better.
I should have been stronger.
I should have been better.
I should have been stronger.
I should have been better.

The stylus snapped in Archangel's hand and she took a deep breath to try to calm herself. There was no use in losing her temper now, whether it was against the counsellor in front of her or against herself. Carefully setting aside the two pieces of stylus, she handed the PADD back to Chira, not looking directly at her.

Chira didn't even flinch at the sound of her stylus snapping in two. That was to be expected of someone with a Romulan's casual strength. What was also to be expected was the list that Archangel had written out. Expecting it, however, didn't make it any easier to read. Chira knew bits and pieces of Arch's past, and knew that that past had created a foundation of self-doubt that was evident in every action she took. The seeds sown long ago had borne the fruit of a self-image that was shockingly negative. Archangel's reaction to the Jarris incident, and her horribly distorted image of her own role in it, was as much a proof of that as if someone had written it large across space itself.

God, she thought, I really hope I don't have to find her psychologically unfit for starship command.

Quickly burying the thought, Chira kept her face impassively open as she handed the padd back, pulling a stylus from another padd. "How do you feel you could have done any of these things better than what you did?"

Chira Abols wrote:

Chira didn't even flinch at the sound of her stylus snapping in two.  That was to be expected of someone with a Romulan's casual strength.  What was also to be expected was the list that Archangel had written out.  Expecting it, however, didn't make it any easier to read.  Chira knew bits and pieces of Arch's past, and knew that that past had created a foundation of self-doubt that was evident in every action she took.  The seeds sown long ago had borne the fruit of a self-image that was shockingly negative.  Archangel's reaction to the Jarris incident, and her horribly distorted image of her own role in it, was as much a proof of that as if someone had written it large across space itself.

God, she thought, I really hope I don't have to find her psychologically unfit for starship command.

Quickly burying the thought, Chira kept her face impassively open as she handed the padd back, pulling a stylus from another padd.  "How do you feel you could have done any of these things better than what you did?"

Archangel glared at the counsellor as she asked what she thought she could have done better. She didn't resent Chira, only the position she held and the questions she asked. Just about anything would have been better than what she had done.

She leaned back in her chair, steepling her fingers and looking back at her sister-in-law. She didn't want to take the PADD back. She didn't want to see those words again.

"Better than what I did? Several of the actions I took were the worst actions I could have taken. 'Better than what I did' encompasses a large field."

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Archangel glared at the counsellor as she asked what she thought she could have done better.  She didn't resent Chira, only the position she held and the questions she asked.  Just about anything would have been better than what she had done.  

She leaned back in her chair, steepling her fingers and looking back at her sister-in-law.  She didn't want to take the PADD back.  She didn't want to see those words again.

"Better than what I did?  Several of the actions I took were the worst actions I could have taken.  'Better than what I did' encompasses a large field."

"That is, of course, open to interpretation, Archangel." And you're naturally inclined to give yourself the worst interpretation possible, she thought. "The other school of thought would say that you did what you could with the circumstances presented to you, and made command decisions that had to be made."

She picked up the second padd, wanting to hand it to Archangel, but holding on to it still. "You don't have to write anything else out right here. But I want you to take this with you, and, when you feel ready...write it down. Everything, Archangel. Everything about Gabriel getting hurt, the takeover of the ship...everything." It was hard to maintain a passive state as she talked about how those sick people had hurt her baby brother. She did know, of course, from her own conversations with him that he obviously didn't blame Archangel for the situation. Nobody possibly could.

Nobody but her.

Chira Abols wrote:

"That is, of course, open to interpretation, Archangel."  And you're naturally inclined to give yourself the worst interpretation possible, she thought.  "The other school of thought would say that you did what you could with the circumstances presented to you, and made command decisions that had to be made."

She picked up the second padd, wanting to hand it to Archangel, but holding on to it still.  "You don't have to write anything else out right here.  But I want you to take this with you, and, when you feel ready...write it down.  Everything, Archangel.  Everything about Gabriel getting hurt, the takeover of the ship...everything."  It was hard to maintain a passive state as she talked about how those sick people had hurt her baby brother.  She did know, of course, from her own conversations with him that he obviously didn't blame Archangel for the situation.  Nobody possibly could.

Nobody but her.

Archangel looked away from Chira, knowing that she couldn't look her sister-in-law in the eye while the memories rattled around her head. She closed her eyes, letting out a long, quiet breath.

She looked back at the counselor, at the PADD she was holding. "I don't understand. What do you want me to write?"

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Archangel looked away from Chira, knowing that she couldn't look her sister-in-law in the eye while the memories rattled around her head.  She closed her eyes, letting out a long, quiet breath.

She looked back at the counselor, at the PADD she was holding.  "I don't understand.  What do you want me to write?"

"I want you to write more," Chira replied, setting the padd on the desk behind them. "You've given a list, and that is a start. We need more detail, though, if we're going to get to the root of all this." She turned back to Archangel, calmly folding her hands in her lap, her tone even and steady. "For lack of a better term, Arch...you're stuck. You continually blame yourself, and you cannot fathom not being responsible for what happened. You've spent so long building up these walls that you're not seeing how they're imprisoning you on this issue. We're going to take them down, brick by brick if we have to. You're my sister and I love you...but you're also my captain." Chira wasn't sure which one she owed it to more.

Chira Abols wrote:

"I want you to write more," Chira replied, setting the padd on the desk behind them. "You've given a list, and that is a start. We need more detail, though, if we're going to get to the root of all this." She turned back to Archangel, calmly folding her hands in her lap, her tone even and steady. "For lack of a better term, Arch...you're stuck. You continually blame yourself, and you cannot fathom not being responsible for what happened. You've spent so long building up these walls that you're not seeing how they're imprisoning you on this issue. We're going to take them down, brick by brick if we have to. You're my sister and I love you...but you're also my captain." Chira wasn't sure which one she owed it to more.

Once again, Archangel sat and observed the counsellor for a moment, trying to determine if there was any other interpretation of the words that she might be missing, some meaming that might be clearer to her.

"I have written what I know to be true. There isn't anything else to it." She tilted her head to one side as she considered her sister-in-law. "If you had been in my place, knowing that you could have spared Gabriel the pain he endured, saved the lives of many of the crew, what would you feel right now?"

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Once again, Archangel sat and observed the counsellor for a moment, trying to determine if there was any other interpretation of the words that she might be missing, some meaming that might be clearer to her.  

"I have written what I know to be true.  There isn't anything else to it." She tilted her head to one side as she considered her sister-in-law.  "If you had been in my place, knowing that you could have spared Gabriel the pain he endured, saved the lives of many of the crew, what would you feel right now?"

"I don't know, Arch," Chira replied, smiling slightly while shaking her head. "I cannot sit here and say 'yes' or 'no', either way. There's no way to know. Do I think that I couldn't make that call? No. I don't think I could." She took the padd off the tabletop and settled it on her knee, idly tapping the surface with her fingertips. "But I'm not a command officer, and you are. And you're projecting the evil actions of one terrorist and his thugs onto yourself, as if you did something wrong."

She sat silent for a moment, raising an eyebrow. "Let me ask you this, Arch...does Gabriel blame himself for being the source of your indecision? Does he hold those deaths that he caused against himself?"

Chira Abols wrote:

"I don't know, Arch," Chira replied, smiling slightly while shaking her head.  "I cannot sit here and say 'yes' or 'no', either way.  There's no way to know.  Do I think that I couldn't make that call?  No.  I don't think I could."  She took the padd off the tabletop and settled it on her knee, idly tapping the surface with her fingertips.  "But I'm not a command officer, and you are.  And you're projecting the evil actions of one terrorist and his thugs onto yourself, as if you did something wrong."

She sat silent for a moment, raising an eyebrow.  "Let me ask you this, Arch...does Gabriel blame himself for being the source of your indecision?  Does he hold those deaths that he caused against himself?"

Archangel's eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion at the question. It didn't make much sense to her that Gabriel hold himself responsible for anything about that day.

"He wasn't in command," she replied. "He held no responsibility for the lives of the crew. That's the commanding officer's concern. In any case, there was nothing he could do. He didn't have the command codes to release the ship."

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Archangel's eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion at the question.  It didn't make much sense to her that Gabriel hold himself responsible for anything about that day.

"He wasn't in command," she replied.  "He held no responsibility for the lives of the crew.  That's the commanding officer's concern.  In any case, there was nothing he could do.  He didn't have the command codes to release the ship."

"But he was there, wasn't he? He was the cause of it." Chira hated to say such a thing about her own brother, but she had a point and was getting to it, uncomfortable as it may be. "If you're going to assign blame to the blameless, namely yourself, then it has to extend to everyone. If Gabriel hadn't been there. If they hadn't found out about your relationship. If you didn't love him. If, if, if."

She looked directly at the Romulan, her expression insistent. Archangel had made a life out of finding the wiggle room in logic and using it to blame herself, and Chira would be damned if she'd allow it. "But you don't blame him, do you? Of course you don't. Nobody does. And nobody blames you."

Chira Abols wrote:

"But he was there, wasn't he?  He was the cause of it."  Chira hated to say such a thing about her own brother, but she had a point and was getting to it, uncomfortable as it may be.  "If you're going to assign blame to the blameless, namely yourself, then it has to extend to everyone.  If Gabriel hadn't been there.  If they hadn't found out about your relationship.  If you didn't love him.  If, if, if."  

She looked directly at the Romulan, her expression insistent.  Archangel had made a life out of finding the wiggle room in logic and using it to blame herself, and Chira would be damned if she'd allow it.  "But you don't blame him, do you?  Of course you don't.  Nobody does.  And nobody blames you."

Archangel was starting to look a little hunted in the ace of the counsellor's insistence. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair and folded her hands in her lap, trying to hide the fact that her fists had been clenched hard enough to turn her knuckles white.

"No blame can lie with Gabriel. He was not a command officer. There was no way that he could give them the information they were after. He hadn't been trained to deal with an interrogation. He doesn't have the same experience I do in dealing with it." She shook her head. "He, just like every other person on a starship, relies on his commanding officer to keep him safe, but it was my fault that they targeted him!" She had to pause to take a deep breath so as to calm herself. There was no need to become emotional, or so she tried to convince herself. "I made that move towards him. I tipped them off thathe was significant to me." Another pause to compose herself. "When Capain Anderson left, I took on the duty and responsibility of all the lives on that ship. I lost some of those lives, Chira. I accepted their responsibility, but I ailed to keep them safe. People I was supposed to protect were gravely injured, some of them died!"

Archangel sighed, rubbing her brow ridges. So much for giving Chira as little to work with as possible. Gabriel must have given her pointers as to how to get under the Romulan's skin. "It was my duty to keep them safe, but I failed. Tell me that isn't my fault, because that would be a lie."

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Archangel was starting to look a little hunted in the ace of the counsellor's insistence.  She shifted uncomfortably in her chair and folded her hands in her lap, trying to hide the fact that her fists had been clenched hard enough to turn her knuckles white.

"No blame can lie with Gabriel.  He was not a command officer.  There was no way that he could give them the information they were after.  He hadn't been trained to deal with an interrogation.  He doesn't have the same experience I do in dealing with it."  She shook her head.  "He, just like every other person on a starship, relies on his commanding officer to keep him safe, but it was my fault that they targeted him!"  She had to pause to take a deep breath so as to calm herself.  There was no need to become emotional, or so she tried to convince herself.  "I made that move towards him.  I tipped them off thathe was significant to me."  Another pause to compose herself.  "When Capain Anderson left, I took on the duty and responsibility of all the lives on that ship.  I lost some of those lives, Chira.  I accepted their responsibility, but I ailed to keep them safe.  People I was supposed to protect were gravely injured, some of them died!"

Archangel sighed, rubbing her brow ridges.  So much for giving Chira as little to work with as possible.  Gabriel must have given her pointers as to how to get under the Romulan's skin.  "It was my duty to keep them safe, but I failed.  Tell me that isn't my fault, because that would be a lie."

The outbreak had been expected, but Chira wasn't sure when it would come. As it was, she was rather proud of the fact that she kept her countenance so calm and direct during the Romulan's barrage. There were cracks in those walls, though. Large ones. And that was what this was all about. She still wanted nothing less than to just wrap her arms around her adoptive sister, holding her until she stopped being upset. Damned professional decorum, she thought, nodding slightly.

"I'm not here to lie to you, Arch. The fact of the matter is...people are going to get hurt during your captaincy. Some day, it could be me. Or Henriks...or Gabe, again. And, that's something every commanding officer has to deal with." Her doe-brown gaze steady, she pressed on. "Yes, it's your duty to keep them safe. But it's also your duty to accept that which you can't change. You owe that to the rest of the crew. And your family."

Chira Abols wrote:

The outbreak had been expected, but Chira wasn't sure when it would come.  As it was, she was rather proud of the fact that she kept her countenance so calm and direct during the Romulan's barrage.  There were cracks in those walls, though.  Large ones.  And that was what this was all about.  She still wanted nothing less than to just wrap her arms around her adoptive sister, holding her until she stopped being upset.  Damned professional decorum, she thought, nodding slightly.

"I'm not here to lie to you, Arch.  The fact of the matter is...people are going to get hurt during your captaincy.  Some day, it could be me.  Or Henriks...or Gabe, again.  And, that's something every commanding officer has to deal with."  Her doe-brown gaze steady, she pressed on.  "Yes, it's your duty to keep them safe.  But it's also your duty to accept that which you can't change.  You owe that to the rest of the crew.  And your family."

Once again, Archangel struggled against what she thought was clear as day against what seemed to be everyone else's belief. Chira didn't know. She couldn't know what Archangel had almost done. She looked away, willing her emotions down again.

"It would all have been for nothing," she murmured. "If I hadn't passed out when I did... I was giving him the codes, Chira. Everything the crew had given up, it would have meant nothing." There. Chira would be the only person who knew that part of the story who hadn't been in Engineering with them during the interrogation. The only person outside of that little group who knew her shame.

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Once again, Archangel struggled against what she thought was clear as day against what seemed to be everyone else's belief.  Chira didn't know.  She couldn't know what Archangel had almost done.  She looked away, willing her emotions down again.

"It would all have been for nothing," she murmured.  "If I hadn't passed out when I did...  I was giving him the codes, Chira.  Everything the crew had given up, it would have meant nothing."  There.  Chira would be the only person who knew that part of the story who hadn't been in Engineering with them during the interrogation.  The only person outside of that little group who knew her shame.

Silently, Chira reached over, taking Archangel by the hand. She just sat there for a moment, taking in the total bomb that her sister-in-law had just dropped. Finally, she spoke. "There was a lot going on that day," she quietly said. "And your memory obviously won't be perfect about it. You can't fully know what you would and wouldn't have done. It might have been, and it might not have been. That's what we need to get past, Arch."

Chira Abols wrote:

Silently, Chira reached over, taking Archangel by the hand.  She just sat there for a moment, taking in the total bomb that her sister-in-law had just dropped.  Finally, she spoke.  "There was a lot going on that day," she quietly said.  "And your memory obviously won't be perfect about it.  You can't fully know what you would and wouldn't have done.  It might have been, and it might not have been.  That's what we need to get past, Arch."

Archangel looked down at the hand holding hers, wondering how Chira could still want to touch her after what she had just said.

"I know what I did, Chira," she said softly. "There's no excusing it. You shouldn't be excusing it after what happened to Gabriel."

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

Archangel looked down at the hand holding hers, wondering how Chira could still want to touch her after what she had just said.

"I know what I did, Chira," she said softly.  "There's no excusing it.  You shouldn't be excusing it after what happened to Gabriel."

"I'm not here to excuse or not excuse your actions," Chira said, her voice still quiet. "Only you can do that." That was the crux of the whole damn thing, wasn't it? Reaching over, Chira picked up the padd again, handing it to Archangel. "Take this. I want you to start keeping log of everything. Every negative feeling, bad dream...everything." What was the old expression? Rome wasn't built in a day? Well, neither were they going to have some miraculous breakthrough today.

Chira stood, holding her hand out to Archangel. "You say that you would have broken for them, that day. But you didn't. It doesn't matter the cause of it...you didn't. Fate, luck, the Great Bird, whatever...all or any of them. You've been given a second chance, Arch. That has to count for something, doesn't it?"

Chira Abols wrote:

"I'm not here to excuse or not excuse your actions," Chira said, her voice still quiet.  "Only you can do that."  That was the crux of the whole damn thing, wasn't it?  Reaching over, Chira picked up the padd again, handing it to Archangel.  "Take this.  I want you to start keeping log of everything.  Every negative feeling, bad dream...everything."  What was the old expression?  Rome wasn't built in a day?  Well, neither were they going to have some miraculous breakthrough today.

Chira stood, holding her hand out to Archangel.  "You say that you would have broken for them, that day.  But you didn't.  It doesn't matter the cause of it...you didn't.  Fate, luck, the Great Bird, whatever...all or any of them.  You've been given a second chance, Arch.  That has to count for something, doesn't it?"

"I did break that day!" Archangel growled, her fists and jaw clenching. "The only reason Jarris isn't gallivanting around in a Sovereign-class starship right now is because I passed out and help arrived before I woke up again!"

She blew out an agitated breath, following Chira's example and getting to her feet. She looked at the PADD she had been handed, and knew that their counselling sessions weren't going to work unless she let Chira fully into her life, into every detail. Could she really do that? Tell Chira everything? Everything about what she did on Romulus? Everything about the nightmares? Everything about Nemesis?

"This isn't going to work, Chira."

Archangel T'Koris wrote:

"I did break that day!" Archangel growled, her fists and jaw clenching.  "The only reason Jarris isn't gallivanting around in a Sovereign-class starship right now is because I passed out and help arrived before I woke up again!"  

She blew out an agitated breath, following Chira's example and getting to her feet.  She looked at the PADD she had been handed, and knew that their counselling sessions weren't going to work unless she let Chira fully into her life, into every detail.  Could she really do that?  Tell Chira everything?  Everything about what she did on Romulus?  Everything about the nightmares?  Everything about Nemesis?

"This isn't going to work, Chira."

Probably not, Chira thought, but we have to try. "I want you to trust me, Archangel. Not as family, but as a confidant. This is my job. And it's your job to talk to me when you have to. The padd," she said, glancing down to the screen in the Romulan's hand, "is only a starting point. I want you to try, though. And when you're back here in two days, we'll go from there." And don't you even think about ducking out of these sessions now...or I'll be on you like a tribble on grain.